I am starting my week with gratitude. I have spent the last week walking around being impatient and stressed. And I am not saying that it will change any time soon, unless this baby decide to come… But I am changing my mindset today and focusing on gratitude.

In a lot of aspect of my life I am in between right now, and I do not like it, I don’t like being stuck, to not move forward and to not make things happen. It has been a valuable challenge though. And so I am deciding to shift my focus to gratitude.

I am grateful for so many things in my life, and when it’s hard to step out of the impatience, at least I can be impatient and grateful at the same time. I am so grateful for all the amazing things in my life, and all the amazing things that are coming. I am grateful for this time of having to slow down and calm my mind, even though it’s hard, it’s good for me. I am so grateful for this pregnancy and this baby, and for my fiance, our apartment and our dogs and living in Barcelona. I am grateful for my friends and my family and all the support they give me.

Gratitude is so important, cause what you focus on grows, so if you’re focus on being grateful for things you will most likely get more of the things you’re grateful for, just like you’ll get more of the negative things if that’s what you focus on.

So let’s be grateful today, my friends. For all the things that we have. Even though the wait for the things I don’t have yet is really, really tough.

In my bubble

I am giving myself permission to stay in my bubble. Maybe this happens when you come to the end of the pregnancy, anyone else experienced it? Or maybe it’s partly because of the heat, and partly because of the direction my life has taken recently.

I am in transition, I can feel the energy and my path changing and I need to just feel and follow. I am in complete reflection and creativity mode and I need to allow myself to be here. So often I just rush off to the next thing and never slow down enough to see where I am actually heading and why. So recently I got a wake up call and realized that something needed to change.

The timing couldn’t be better, with it being the end of the pregnancy and me needing to rest and take care of myself anyway. So I am in complete self care and development mode. It’s still a bit hard though, to completely allow yourself to be in that state. I feel that there is so much pressure to be and do it all that if I stay in the house (Yas AC, thanks) I feel like I should be out and about and make the most of every day. But for now, this is making the most of my day and my time.

I can’t say that it’s completely stress free. I do have child birth on my agenda and it scares the living crap out of me. So I am waking up 50 times a night having had a dream that I was in labor and not knowing what is true and what isn’t.

Give yourself permission to sign out and step into yourself. When it just involves watching netflix and laying on the couch it might not be the best thing, but when it involves digging deep, reflecting and taking care of yourself and your mind, then sometimes it’s exactly what you need to move forward in the right direction!

Self Care with a baby

It’s so important to put yourself first. You can’t pour from an empty cup. So I have been thinking about that lately. How to keep up with my self care with a baby. It must be tough, but it must be possible.

It’s so important for my well being, my habits, to keep my routine. It’s important for my mental health and for my happiness. I’m guessing that I will fall out of it with a newborn but then I’m gonna have to find a way back, even if it might have to be a bit differently.

What are you opinions? Did you have a self care routine before having kids? How did kids effect that? How do you keep up with your self care as a mama? Let me know all your tips and all your challenges!

I am ready

I am ready. This in between is not working for me. I am too impatient. I have been pregnant enough now, it’s not just that I am sick of being pregnant, I’m just done, I’m ready for the next step. In my mind I am already planning for life with baby, I am making schedule, loosing baby weight, looking for a new place and so on. All those things that I can’t do right now, because I’m just waiting. I’m just sitting here, waiting.

I try to come up with all kinds of stuff to do, bake (I do not bake…), clean out my closet (still need the mama clothes). This is ridiculous. I do not like waiting. Especially for something that is probably not gonna be very fun. So I want to have it behind me, not ahead. I want to be done with it now.

I miss my stomach, I miss my clothes, I miss my non swollen feet and legs. I am ready, let’s get this show on the road baby.

So here’s what I’m doing. Me, who is so into mindset work and all that stuff, I am simply working on my child birth mindset. And it feels like it’s working. I just hit me, that I have so many techniques that I need to calm my mind. Breathing, and yes that does actually take practice. I am focusing all my energy on affirming thoughts instead of thinking about when and how it’s going to happen.

  • I am ready for this
  • Everything will be okay
  • My body is ready and made for this

And like all other affirming thoughts, you need to believe them at some level, and I do.

Planning my wedding from a distance

As some of you know we’re getting married next year. Well to be honest we’re getting married this year, legally. Since Spain likes being super annoying with these things we thought we might as well get the hard part done and then do the wedding aside from that. So that’s what we’re doing.

If you’re expats getting married in Spain get started super super super early. I think it took us 6 months to get all our papers together and then go get them approved, and then there’s the risk of having to wait several months before getting an appointment to actually make it happen.

Anyway, we’re having our wedding in Croatia. Yes I know, French and Swedish living in Spain and now getting married in Croatia, could you guys make it more complicated? We had already planner to have our wedding may 2020 before I got pregnant actually. And when I did it still seemed like a good idea since the baby will be 10 months by then and I will have lost the baby weight (damn straight I will have). So this summer was supposed to be the planning summer ha ha… I ain’t going anywhere.

So thank f’ god for my parents. The reason why we’re getting married there is because my family has a house there and we’ve been spending the last 15 summers there. So that has always been my dream. So my parents are there vacationing right now, and they are running around, talking to people, planning, organizing, asking questions and helping us make decisions from there. And for those who don’t know me, I am grateful of course, but this is f’ killing me, I am the planner, the organizer, I live for that shit. So this is really a challenge in letting go of control. But I am sure it will be completely phenomenal. I trust my parents and the people helping us there. It will most definitely be the wedding of our dreams.

How our families are gonna communicate, now that’s a completely different story. They’ll have some practice before at least.

I’m having a baby this month

That is probably one of the craziest sentences I have ever written in any context of my life. I am having a baby this month. Well to be honest it could actually end up being in august. But let’s just pretend that’s not true, cause we do not want that. For everyone around me, let’s not go over time. Don’t make me be pregnant longer than necessary.

It’s completely insane. Any time now we can have a whole new person in our lives, that we’re supposed to take care of and raise. Anyone else finding this concept completely weird? And don’t even get me started on the whole growing the person inside you and giving birth to it concept.

Every night I go to bed I’m like, what if we have a baby tomorrow. And no, I realize the baby won’t just pop up during the night, (but wouldn’t that be nice, really finding this stork idea super appealing right now).

Jokes aside, I am so excited now. I really trust that we will be great at this. At being lost together haha, and figuring it out. I believe that we will be great parents, and that we will create the most amazing life for this little girl. And I am so excited to meet her, see her, find out what her name is… I am so excited. And scared. And nervous. And I can’t wait. Let’s get this show on the road!

How did you feel when you started getting really close?
What scared you the most?
Made you the most excited?

What we learn about giving birth – from the movies

I had a talk with a friend recently about all my feelings regarding this birth. And she said something like “and then the water breaks and it’s time”. And I started telling her about these new facts about giving birth that I have learned during this pregnancy. Which doesn’t really go with the scenes we see in the movies.

Before I thought it happened like in the movies, just like most of us do, unless maybe we have someone close who had a baby. Isn’t it crazy that we actually have no idea how this works? And that it’s being portrayed exactly the same in all movies? Superpregnant, water breaks like a splash on the floor, everyone panics, pregnant lady starts screaming, everyone drops everything and runs to the hospital, gets there, screams, baby comes out, done.

THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS. Maybe it is for some. According to my grandma I’ll probably barely make it to the hospital before the baby’s out cause we have fast births in our family (might not apply to me, who’s knows, grandma does, apparently haha). Trying to ask her questions regarding good things to bring to the hospital or how long to wait to go there and so on was just pointless, her respons to everything was “oh you won’t have time for that”.

But seriously, I literally thought that the water breaks in 100% of the cases, according to what I’ve read it’s actually only in 15% of the cases. And even if it does you’re probably already in pre-labor. I get it, they need the dramatics for good TV, but can we at least get to see a variety of how it works. We need the real deal. Like when Rachel in friends is in the hospital and like 6 women come and go when she’s barely dilated.

I do wish that it did happen like on TV. Knowing that it might not just makes you walk around all nervous, super attentive to everything you’re feeling, wondering if it might be sign. This whole thing really is a good challenge for me, to learn to let go of the things I can not control.