So here we were, settling into our routine really well, she started sleeping well in her crib, she was eating quite regularly, and BAM. All of a sudden she didn’t want to sleep unless she was ON someone and she started cluster feeding. And for those of you who doesn’t know what cluster feeding is. It’s when she eats, ALL THE F’KING TIME. I have never been more grateful for being able to just text my doula and ask what’s up cause I was going completely crazy. It’s not only that she eats for a long time, it’s that she eats for like 15 minutes, let go, sleeps for 2 minutes, and then wakes up hungry again, and goes on like that for TWO HOURS. So every time she lets go you think she’s done, but noooo. And little did I know, that was just the beginning. Last night she was eating for the most part of FIVE HOURS.
BUT after I got the respons from my doula that it was normal and that she might go on like that for some time, I realized that there was no point going crazy but just get settled on the couch and try to relax. This apparently happens because they’re in a growth spurt and start needing more milk so they eat like crazy to promote the production. And it also means that I need to eat and drink more, and feel even more thirsty than usually (usually is already a hung-over-as-f’-feel).
However, since our girl haven’t really gained weight as she should, we have gone to the nurse once a week to keep track. And this week she had gained perfectly, more than any other week before. And I also get to catch up on friends, cause watching the whole serie 15 times obviously isn’t enough.
Well she has just started to sleep in her bed a little again, and today she slept quite a lot. Well let’s just agree that having a baby means working on being flexible and patient. I am not giving up on create a routine though, I’m just realizing there will be more bumps on the road than I might have thought.
Tips for anyone going through this
Get yourself a bunch of awesome snacks
Choose some books to read and stuff to watch on netflix
Call your loved ones, what better time to be on the phone then when you’re stuck on the couch. Or if you live closer to yours than I do, why don’t you invite them over so you also have someone who can do stuff for you and bring you stuff while you sit there.
Get out anyway, good time to practice being comfortable with breastfeeding in public
Allow yourself to take a break, Jesus Christ you’ll need it.
Things are getting better. I’m feeling better. My parents left a few days ago and it felt a bit scary when they were leaving. I do already miss them, but we’re doing pretty good so far. Of course it was easier to have someone help with the baby when she didn’t want to sleep so that we could rest, but you also get kind of used to not sleeping through the night and even though it’s tough it’s getting better.
We’re getting better at working as a team and we’re getting more and more used to the situation. My hormones have also calmed down a bit, at least for now, so I feel fine. I’m also trying to enjoy it as much as possible.
It’s extremely frustrating when you manage to get the baby to sleep and as soon as you put her down she wakes up and start screaming, and you can barely keep your eyes open anymore. But it’s also so phenomenal when you’ve gotten a few hours of sleep and you wake up to see her cute little face. Of course it’s hard. But of course it’s worth it.
So since a few days, I feel fine, I feel good even. And even though there are more ups and downs to come, I’m enjoying this moment. Those moments that you easily take for granted, like laying on the couch with the love of my life, watching TV with a sleeping adorable baby in my arms.
Earlier this week we decided to go out just the two of us for the first time since baby arrived. It’s been really hard leaving her, but since it probably will only get harder and harder the longer we wait and my parents being here to help out we thought we might as well give it a try.
So we went out for a drink this weekend, just a couple of hours and nothing super special but it was one of the best dates we’ve had in quite some time. I needed it more than I thought and it went a lot better than I thought it would. Probably also because the end of my pregnancy was so tough I couldn’t really do much but stay in and while breastfeeding feeling like a walking boob, I hadn’t felt like an actual person in a while haha.
We went to rooftop close by and we sat in the shade, it was so warm but up there was some wind and air and it felt so good. We had decided to keep the baby talk to a minimum and just focus on us and each other and even though we didn’t really do anything special it felt so amazing. It has been really tough, and probably is in most relationship with a newborn, you’re both tired and insecure and wondering if you’re doing anything right, everything changed suddenly and you did too, all of a sudden you’re parents and it’s like you need to find a way to be together in this new situation. So it hasn’t been easy. There has been some discussions and a lot of snapping at each other. So just going away for a couple of hours, feeling like ourselves again and just focusing on each other was exactly what we needed.