I am ready. This in between is not working for me. I am too impatient. I have been pregnant enough now, it’s not just that I am sick of being pregnant, I’m just done, I’m ready for the next step. In my mind I am already planning for life with baby, I am making schedule, loosing baby weight, looking for a new place and so on. All those things that I can’t do right now, because I’m just waiting. I’m just sitting here, waiting.
I try to come up with all kinds of stuff to do, bake (I do not bake…), clean out my closet (still need the mama clothes). This is ridiculous. I do not like waiting. Especially for something that is probably not gonna be very fun. So I want to have it behind me, not ahead. I want to be done with it now.
I miss my stomach, I miss my clothes, I miss my non swollen feet and legs. I am ready, let’s get this show on the road baby.
So here’s what I’m doing. Me, who is so into mindset work and all that stuff, I am simply working on my child birth mindset. And it feels like it’s working. I just hit me, that I have so many techniques that I need to calm my mind. Breathing, and yes that does actually take practice. I am focusing all my energy on affirming thoughts instead of thinking about when and how it’s going to happen.
I am ready for this
Everything will be okay
My body is ready and made for this
And like all other affirming thoughts, you need to believe them at some level, and I do.
That is probably one of the craziest sentences I have ever written in any context of my life. I am having a baby this month. Well to be honest it could actually end up being in august. But let’s just pretend that’s not true, cause we do not want that. For everyone around me, let’s not go over time. Don’t make me be pregnant longer than necessary.
It’s completely insane. Any time now we can have a whole new person in our lives, that we’re supposed to take care of and raise. Anyone else finding this concept completely weird? And don’t even get me started on the whole growing the person inside you and giving birth to it concept.
Every night I go to bed I’m like, what if we have a baby tomorrow. And no, I realize the baby won’t just pop up during the night, (but wouldn’t that be nice, really finding this stork idea super appealing right now).
Jokes aside, I am so excited now. I really trust that we will be great at this. At being lost together haha, and figuring it out. I believe that we will be great parents, and that we will create the most amazing life for this little girl. And I am so excited to meet her, see her, find out what her name is… I am so excited. And scared. And nervous. And I can’t wait. Let’s get this show on the road!
How did you feel when you started getting really close? What scared you the most? Made you the most excited?
I had a talk with a friend recently about all my feelings regarding this birth. And she said something like “and then the water breaks and it’s time”. And I started telling her about these new facts about giving birth that I have learned during this pregnancy. Which doesn’t really go with the scenes we see in the movies.
Before I thought it happened like in the movies, just like most of us do, unless maybe we have someone close who had a baby. Isn’t it crazy that we actually have no idea how this works? And that it’s being portrayed exactly the same in all movies? Superpregnant, water breaks like a splash on the floor, everyone panics, pregnant lady starts screaming, everyone drops everything and runs to the hospital, gets there, screams, baby comes out, done.
THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS. Maybe it is for some. According to my grandma I’ll probably barely make it to the hospital before the baby’s out cause we have fast births in our family (might not apply to me, who’s knows, grandma does, apparently haha). Trying to ask her questions regarding good things to bring to the hospital or how long to wait to go there and so on was just pointless, her respons to everything was “oh you won’t have time for that”.
But seriously, I literally thought that the water breaks in 100% of the cases, according to what I’ve read it’s actually only in 15% of the cases. And even if it does you’re probably already in pre-labor. I get it, they need the dramatics for good TV, but can we at least get to see a variety of how it works. We need the real deal. Like when Rachel in friends is in the hospital and like 6 women come and go when she’s barely dilated.
I do wish that it did happen like on TV. Knowing that it might not just makes you walk around all nervous, super attentive to everything you’re feeling, wondering if it might be sign. This whole thing really is a good challenge for me, to learn to let go of the things I can not control.
I was going to write a post with tips for the one who’s pregnant in the super summer heat. But as I’m sitting here, I’m wondering if there are any… it’s just f’ warm and I’m dying, we’re in the middle of a heat wave too. So I guess these would be my best tips
Wear as little as possible
Find a friend with a pool
Buy a fan
Yap. That’s pretty much it. Also hydrate, and yes it sucks, so much, like you’re not peeing enough, now you’re gonna drink even more water and pee more because of it? Yes, sorry.
I do recommend to buy a great fan, we did, we probably got the most expensive one, and it’s phenomenal. Funny thing is we got one of those that are super silent for when you’re gonna sleep. Ha ha, no use for that, it’s way too weak on that setting. Good thing it’s pretty quiet on turbo mode too. And for those of us who loooooves sleeping with our cozy cover… Tough shit. Just pull that cover our of the sheet and give up.
If it wouldn’t be a little inappropriate I would go around like this all the time.
So it seemed like a very good idea to have everything done on time so that I could spend the last weeks relaxing. Ha ha ha. Boy was I wrong. So the paradox is that I would probably feel very stressed if I wasn’t done with all the preparations, but now that I am, I’m stressed about that. Cause there is nothing to do, there is nothing more to prepare, and I feel this huge need to do so. I wish I was a person who enjoyed knitting, or sewing, but I’m just not.
And this is not about not having anything to do, cause I do. But I feel this huge need to specifically prepare and organize for babys arrival, so I can’t occupy myself with just anything. The good thing is that with all this motivation I have been able to put a lot of energy into working on my business. But I still end up sitting there, having done all my stuff, and just feeling the need to fold something, or clean something, or order something, or organize something. What is happening to me? So is this what they call nesting syndrome? Well it is hitting me haaaard.
It has gotten so bad that when one of my dogs got sick all over the carpet in the baby room yesterday I actually felt pleasure in having something to do, scrubbing stains, dog vomit stains, seriously?
I have come to a point where I can actually see us with a baby. And it’s the craziest feeling. I think that’s where this need to do something comes from, cause I have already started feeling a whole new purpose, I’m just missing that one little thing to take care of. It’s not even that I’m longing for baby, it’s almost as if I miss her, even thought I’ve never had her. It’s like there is something missing.
Or maybe I’m just going crazy, let me know what you think. Did you experience this nesting syndrome?
So let’s talk about maternity clothes. I thought that I would be completely fine with my own clothes through most of the pregnancy. Ha was I wrong! It went pretty fast that I didn’t want to wear my jeans anymore, I mean they fit, but it was just uncomfortable being so swollen. I do have a lot of over-sized clothes, t-shirts and dresses. And I was also thinking that since I was gonna be super pregnancy during the summer I didn’t want to spend money on maternity clothes that I would only wear for a very short time.
Eventually I just gave up and went to find some clothes that actually fit. And let’s be honest, getting fat and swollen, you deserve to feel comfortable and pretty in your clothes. But seriously, I don’t know who decided that as soon as you get pregnant you will automatically only dress in pink, cute clothes with butterflies on them? We all actually continue being the same person when we get pregnant, we also want to dress the same, just with some space for the growing stomach. It’s ridiculous, everywhere I went all the clothes were the same style. Apparently you’re supposed to dress like a child/old lady in badly fitted clothes, because you’re gonna be a mum now, and that’s how they dress.
I managed to find a completely normal black day2day dress, some black and white t-shirts and eventually a pair of black jeans. So yes, unless you wanna dress like a mix between a child and an old lady, you can only wear basics. But I do have to say that maternity jeans and sweatpants with the fabric covering the stomach, o m g, seriously the most comfortable piece of clothing I’ve ever worn. I’m never going back.
Summer has made it a bit harder too, I’m just wearing as little clothes as possible, at all times, and constantly thinking of that scen in friends when Ross comments on how Rachel’s dressed. A whole new level of funny nowadays.
If I had to buy maternity clothes all over again I would definitely go with bunch of t-shirts like this one, so what every one who’s staring at my stomach would have something to read.
When we were away on vacation there were a lot of people with kids. And one night at dinner we say this one couple with a kid that might have been around one year or something. The mum looked more exhausted than I think I have ever seen a person look and the dad looked completely fine and rested. Now there might be a lot of reason for this. And maybe there is a reasonable explanation. But I just feel like it’s so often it looks like that. More often than the other way around I mean. Is that because the woman automatically wants to do it all by themselves, that the man lets her and doesn’t offer to help? I don’t know. But are we really still living in a society that lets a woman kill herself taking care of a child while the man who is equally responsible for this child is getting all the time he needs for himself? You can’t pour from an empty cup, so everyone, women too, needs to take care of themselves as well. Is this something you have noticed? Or am I completely wrong?
Are we really that scared of asking for help? Or are we really that stuck in feeling like we have to do it all by ourselves? I feel very good about my first thought being, Odi would never let that happen, and I really don’t believe he would. Even if I tried to do it all by myself, which might actually happen, I believe that he would notice and basically force me to go rest and take care of myself for a bit. Now we don’t have a child yet, it there are, like I said, probably a million reasons why this specific couple looked like they did, and it’s probably more exhausting than I can imagine to have a kid. But it just doesn’t seem reasonable to me that it usually looks like this.
I think the road goes both ways. Men need to step up and take some responsibility and women need to step up and ask for what they need and not feel like they need to do everything by themselves. What do you think?