I had a talk with a friend recently about all my feelings regarding this birth. And she said something like “and then the water breaks and it’s time”. And I started telling her about these new facts about giving birth that I have learned during this pregnancy. Which doesn’t really go with the scenes we see in the movies.
Before I thought it happened like in the movies, just like most of us do, unless maybe we have someone close who had a baby. Isn’t it crazy that we actually have no idea how this works? And that it’s being portrayed exactly the same in all movies? Superpregnant, water breaks like a splash on the floor, everyone panics, pregnant lady starts screaming, everyone drops everything and runs to the hospital, gets there, screams, baby comes out, done.
THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS. Maybe it is for some. According to my grandma I’ll probably barely make it to the hospital before the baby’s out cause we have fast births in our family (might not apply to me, who’s knows, grandma does, apparently haha). Trying to ask her questions regarding good things to bring to the hospital or how long to wait to go there and so on was just pointless, her respons to everything was “oh you won’t have time for that”.
But seriously, I literally thought that the water breaks in 100% of the cases, according to what I’ve read it’s actually only in 15% of the cases. And even if it does you’re probably already in pre-labor. I get it, they need the dramatics for good TV, but can we at least get to see a variety of how it works. We need the real deal. Like when Rachel in friends is in the hospital and like 6 women come and go when she’s barely dilated.
I do wish that it did happen like on TV. Knowing that it might not just makes you walk around all nervous, super attentive to everything you’re feeling, wondering if it might be sign. This whole thing really is a good challenge for me, to learn to let go of the things I can not control.
I was going to write a post with tips for the one who’s pregnant in the super summer heat. But as I’m sitting here, I’m wondering if there are any… it’s just f’ warm and I’m dying, we’re in the middle of a heat wave too. So I guess these would be my best tips
Wear as little as possible
Find a friend with a pool
Buy a fan
Yap. That’s pretty much it. Also hydrate, and yes it sucks, so much, like you’re not peeing enough, now you’re gonna drink even more water and pee more because of it? Yes, sorry.
I do recommend to buy a great fan, we did, we probably got the most expensive one, and it’s phenomenal. Funny thing is we got one of those that are super silent for when you’re gonna sleep. Ha ha, no use for that, it’s way too weak on that setting. Good thing it’s pretty quiet on turbo mode too. And for those of us who loooooves sleeping with our cozy cover… Tough shit. Just pull that cover our of the sheet and give up.
If it wouldn’t be a little inappropriate I would go around like this all the time.
So it seemed like a very good idea to have everything done on time so that I could spend the last weeks relaxing. Ha ha ha. Boy was I wrong. So the paradox is that I would probably feel very stressed if I wasn’t done with all the preparations, but now that I am, I’m stressed about that. Cause there is nothing to do, there is nothing more to prepare, and I feel this huge need to do so. I wish I was a person who enjoyed knitting, or sewing, but I’m just not.
And this is not about not having anything to do, cause I do. But I feel this huge need to specifically prepare and organize for babys arrival, so I can’t occupy myself with just anything. The good thing is that with all this motivation I have been able to put a lot of energy into working on my business. But I still end up sitting there, having done all my stuff, and just feeling the need to fold something, or clean something, or order something, or organize something. What is happening to me? So is this what they call nesting syndrome? Well it is hitting me haaaard.
It has gotten so bad that when one of my dogs got sick all over the carpet in the baby room yesterday I actually felt pleasure in having something to do, scrubbing stains, dog vomit stains, seriously?
I have come to a point where I can actually see us with a baby. And it’s the craziest feeling. I think that’s where this need to do something comes from, cause I have already started feeling a whole new purpose, I’m just missing that one little thing to take care of. It’s not even that I’m longing for baby, it’s almost as if I miss her, even thought I’ve never had her. It’s like there is something missing.
Or maybe I’m just going crazy, let me know what you think. Did you experience this nesting syndrome?
So pregnancy is beautiful and all that but not a super fun time for me even though I’m kind of spoiled with the lack of awful symptoms. But lately when I have gotten even bigger, and it has gotten even warmer, and everything has gotten more uncomfortable, I have been walking around thinking about things that I will never take for granted again. You know, kind of like you do when you have a really bad cold, sitt around thinking of how you will never take for granted not having a blocked nose, or being able to breathe properly.
So here’s my list.
Sneezing, laughing or coughing without having to worry about peeing myself. Now I realize that this might get even worse after giving birth. But I still wish I hadn’t taken it for granted before.
Non swollen feet and ankles. I even caught myself the other day zooming in on an old photo of myself where my ankles were showing, looking at how skinny and pretty they were. Ahhh the feeling of being able to walk properly.
Being able to wear all my shoes…. because of not having those swollen ankles and feet. My only choice now is flip flips. At least I got a pretty pair of flip flops. But still…
A flat stomach. I am so mad at myself for ever thinking that I had anything but a flat stomach. I had no idea, seriously. I can’t wait for the day I don’t have this huge bump in the middle of my body. And can wear normal clothes again.
Not having heart burn. I literally don’t know what it feels like anymore, to not have heart burn. And I will be forever grateful the day that I’m without and finally get to feel that sensation of not having a fire in my throat.
Being able to turn around without waking up during the night. Okay, ha ha, I’m having a baby, I’ll probably be woken up by a screaming baby instead. But at least I’ll be able to sleep comfortably when I do sleep.
Not having a great pain ahead. Yes giving birth is natural and will probably be fine. But seriously, it’s no fun walking around knowing that you will experience what people call the worst pain of their lives any moment now. It’s freckin’ scary.
Of course there is also a huge list of things that I will never take for granted like being able to get pregnant this easy. Having a great pregnancy health wise and not having to constantly worry about complications (even if that worry of course can be there anyway). And there will probably be a list of things again after the baby is here, that will make this one sound really ridiculous. But there you go. So if your not pregnant, take a moment and appreciate being skinny (cause yes you are), flexible, not having to worry about peeing yourself, living without heart burn and not having god knows how many hours of excruciating pain ahead. I’m happy for you guys!
What did you not love about being pregnant? And what do you miss about being pregnant?
We did a pregnancy photo shoot the other day. I was going back and forth about weather or not I wanted to actually do it the closer it got. When feeling big and uncomfortable, taking a bunch of photos isn’t really your version of a fun time. But we decided to do it anyway. One of the reasons being that we figured we’d just regret it if we didn’t, and the other being that we did our engagement photos with the same photographer, and we loved those photos, so the chances of us loving these photos, and also being comfortable during the photo shoot was quite big.
And it was great, I mean it is awkward of course, to do staged photos of you and your partner involving a huge stomach with a baby in it. But it was good and it felt like we got some good photos after all. It was a good time and I was excited to see the photos.
And rightfully so. We got the photos back today and they are amazing. I’m so happy we did it after all. Even if I felt huge and uncomfortable she managed to make me look great. We got some wonderful photos together, from this pregnancy and with the pups as well. I couldn’t be happier. So if you’re in Barcelona and you wanna do engagement photos or pregnancy photos or what ever photos, you know where to go. https://delphinegidoinphotography.com/
So let’s talk about maternity clothes. I thought that I would be completely fine with my own clothes through most of the pregnancy. Ha was I wrong! It went pretty fast that I didn’t want to wear my jeans anymore, I mean they fit, but it was just uncomfortable being so swollen. I do have a lot of over-sized clothes, t-shirts and dresses. And I was also thinking that since I was gonna be super pregnancy during the summer I didn’t want to spend money on maternity clothes that I would only wear for a very short time.
Eventually I just gave up and went to find some clothes that actually fit. And let’s be honest, getting fat and swollen, you deserve to feel comfortable and pretty in your clothes. But seriously, I don’t know who decided that as soon as you get pregnant you will automatically only dress in pink, cute clothes with butterflies on them? We all actually continue being the same person when we get pregnant, we also want to dress the same, just with some space for the growing stomach. It’s ridiculous, everywhere I went all the clothes were the same style. Apparently you’re supposed to dress like a child/old lady in badly fitted clothes, because you’re gonna be a mum now, and that’s how they dress.
I managed to find a completely normal black day2day dress, some black and white t-shirts and eventually a pair of black jeans. So yes, unless you wanna dress like a mix between a child and an old lady, you can only wear basics. But I do have to say that maternity jeans and sweatpants with the fabric covering the stomach, o m g, seriously the most comfortable piece of clothing I’ve ever worn. I’m never going back.
Summer has made it a bit harder too, I’m just wearing as little clothes as possible, at all times, and constantly thinking of that scen in friends when Ross comments on how Rachel’s dressed. A whole new level of funny nowadays.
If I had to buy maternity clothes all over again I would definitely go with bunch of t-shirts like this one, so what every one who’s staring at my stomach would have something to read.
When we were away on vacation there were a lot of people with kids. And one night at dinner we say this one couple with a kid that might have been around one year or something. The mum looked more exhausted than I think I have ever seen a person look and the dad looked completely fine and rested. Now there might be a lot of reason for this. And maybe there is a reasonable explanation. But I just feel like it’s so often it looks like that. More often than the other way around I mean. Is that because the woman automatically wants to do it all by themselves, that the man lets her and doesn’t offer to help? I don’t know. But are we really still living in a society that lets a woman kill herself taking care of a child while the man who is equally responsible for this child is getting all the time he needs for himself? You can’t pour from an empty cup, so everyone, women too, needs to take care of themselves as well. Is this something you have noticed? Or am I completely wrong?
Are we really that scared of asking for help? Or are we really that stuck in feeling like we have to do it all by ourselves? I feel very good about my first thought being, Odi would never let that happen, and I really don’t believe he would. Even if I tried to do it all by myself, which might actually happen, I believe that he would notice and basically force me to go rest and take care of myself for a bit. Now we don’t have a child yet, it there are, like I said, probably a million reasons why this specific couple looked like they did, and it’s probably more exhausting than I can imagine to have a kid. But it just doesn’t seem reasonable to me that it usually looks like this.
I think the road goes both ways. Men need to step up and take some responsibility and women need to step up and ask for what they need and not feel like they need to do everything by themselves. What do you think?