Things I will not take for granted again

So pregnancy is beautiful and all that but not a super fun time for me even though I’m kind of spoiled with the lack of awful symptoms. But lately when I have gotten even bigger, and it has gotten even warmer, and everything has gotten more uncomfortable, I have been walking around thinking about things that I will never take for granted again. You know, kind of like you do when you have a really bad cold, sitt around thinking of how you will never take for granted not having a blocked nose, or being able to breathe properly.

So here’s my list.

  • Sneezing, laughing or coughing without having to worry about peeing myself. Now I realize that this might get even worse after giving birth. But I still wish I hadn’t taken it for granted before.
  • Non swollen feet and ankles. I even caught myself the other day zooming in on an old photo of myself where my ankles were showing, looking at how skinny and pretty they were. Ahhh the feeling of being able to walk properly.
  • Being able to wear all my shoes…. because of not having those swollen ankles and feet. My only choice now is flip flips. At least I got a pretty pair of flip flops. But still…
  • A flat stomach. I am so mad at myself for ever thinking that I had anything but a flat stomach. I had no idea, seriously. I can’t wait for the day I don’t have this huge bump in the middle of my body. And can wear normal clothes again.
  • Not having heart burn. I literally don’t know what it feels like anymore, to not have heart burn. And I will be forever grateful the day that I’m without and finally get to feel that sensation of not having a fire in my throat.
  • Being able to turn around without waking up during the night. Okay, ha ha, I’m having a baby, I’ll probably be woken up by a screaming baby instead. But at least I’ll be able to sleep comfortably when I do sleep.
  • Not having a great pain ahead. Yes giving birth is natural and will probably be fine. But seriously, it’s no fun walking around knowing that you will experience what people call the worst pain of their lives any moment now. It’s freckin’ scary.

Of course there is also a huge list of things that I will never take for granted like being able to get pregnant this easy. Having a great pregnancy health wise and not having to constantly worry about complications (even if that worry of course can be there anyway). And there will probably be a list of things again after the baby is here, that will make this one sound really ridiculous. But there you go. So if your not pregnant, take a moment and appreciate being skinny (cause yes you are), flexible, not having to worry about peeing yourself, living without heart burn and not having god knows how many hours of excruciating pain ahead. I’m happy for you guys!

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What did you not love about being pregnant?
And what do you miss about being pregnant?

Only a few weeks left

We are all done now, with the preparations for the baby, well pretty much. We have some stuff left to do regarding the birth more so, visiting the hospital and packing the hospital bag and such. Since I expect for her to be early we really want to get that done. And I had decided that we were gonna be 100% done when it was a month left, to just be able to relax and focus on other things.

I can not believe that we’re all of a sudden here, only 6 weeks away. 6 weeks is nothing, nothing at all, it is literally no time. I can not believe that we are gonna have a real life baby with us that is half me and half Odi and then we’re gonna be responsible for that person. No it has not sunk in, it does not make sense. And I can imagine this feeling getting bigger and bigger the closer we get. The most unreal thing though, is that she’s already here. She’s inside my stomach, just being alive in there, waiting to get out. How weird is that?

To be really honest I am scared out of my mind. I think getting ready with the actual stuff is just a way to make yourself feel like you’re actually prepared. But I have to say that now when I actually have finished I have nothing left to do but sit here and think about exactly how I much I am not ready, and there is nothing more I can do to get prepared! I get that it all falls into place, and that everything is gonna be fine, and that probably everyone goes through this, more or less. But seriously though, how scary is it? We’re having a baby, a human being, a person. What? How did we get here? On one hand I feel like I have been pregnant for years, on the other hand I feel like I found out yesterday and now we’re almost there. This is too crazy. But I am excited too, so excited to meet her, who ever she is!

Did you feel like this when reaching the end of your pregnancy?
Were you scared or only excited? Or both?
How early were you done with all the preparations, and how did that make you feel?

Good things to tell a pregnant woman

So I have talked a bit about weird things do when people are pregnant. For example here. So I thought it would be a good idea to write about things that are actually nice to hear when you’re pregnant. Which, of course, is only according to me but I do think these are more safe than the things that people usually do say like, OMG you’re so big, for example. No one wants to hear that they’re big, ever, under no circumstances, at all. And yes sure, I’m big because I’m pregnant, but that’s no surprise now is it?

  • That you look good in your clothes.
    For one, being uncomfortable with being pregnant is not only about a growing stomach, everything is growing, in weird ways, and you’re a weird form, and clothes doesn’t fit very well, and like that wasn’t enough you’re probably over sensitive too. So hearing that the one thing you found on the maternity section actually looks really good on you is really nice.
  • That you’ve grown since last time.
    Now me being a little extra sensitive to people saying stupid things, I might think, oh you don’t say. I really cannot believe that people get so surprised that you get bigger when you’re pregnant. Anyway, if you for some reason feel the need to comment on the size of this person (BUT WHY), skip sentences involving big and fat and just go with this one.
  • Can I feel your stomach?
    Well, no, not really, but at least you had the decency to ask if it’s okay. And if we are friend, it might actually be. But it is never, under any circumstances okay, or normal behavior to just put your hand on someones stomach. How would you like it?
  • Are you nervous, worried, scared?
    It is okay to ask, even if I might not wanna talk about it. And asking is always better than telling. Don’t start with throwing your friends friends scary story about giving birth. If anything, dig up a positive story about how everything is gonna be okay.

Do you agree/disagree?
What did/do you appreciate to hear?
And definitely did/do you not appreciate to hear?

Happy mother’s day

Today it’s mother’s day in some places, Sweden being one of them. Unfortunately since I’m living in Spain and being away for an event I’m not spending this day with my mum. I am however feeling a bit emotional on a day like this, it being my first (almost) mother’s day or should I say the last one without actually being a mother. I guess it depends on how you look at it. I definitely do not feel like a mother yet and I guess I won’t until the day she decides it’s time to arrive.

I have so many goals and aspirations about being a mother. I am also scared and nervous. But I’m mostly excited, cause to be honest (about to step outside the norm here and own my confidence), I think I will be good at it. I do have a lot of growing left to do (ha-ha). I have not reach everything I want to reach or created the life I want for myself and my family yet. But I’m owning my life, I am chasing my dreams, I am believing in myself. I believe myself to be strong, empowering, smart and stubborn. I have always gone my own way and stood up for myself and others. I am a hell of a friend, a great sister, daughter and fiancé mostly, I think, because I always give all of me, all of the real me. I see the best in people and strive to become the best version of myself and I know that I will succeed and have my dreams come true cause I do not quit.

So that was a little different, ha? Don’t you think we should all own up a bit more to what we are actually good at? What is actually great about us? I feel like I have this confidence within me and a trust in myself but that the society have taught me that you shouldn’t give yourself too much credit, you shouldn’t talk yourself up too much. And while you should definitely not let your ego get so big you think you have nothing left to learn, you should affirm yourself and tell yourself that you are f’king great when you are.

I also have a lot of trust in my ability for motherhood because I grew up with a phenomenal mother. She was natural from the start, just meant to be a mother. She is strong, stubborn, strong-willed and so honest she couldn’t hide her opinion about something or someone even if she tried. She is also soft, kind, supportive, smart and welcomes people she likes and loves with open arms and gives them all she’s got.

I can’t wait to be a mum, and I can’t wait to hug mine the next time I see her. Happy mother’s day my fabulous mum, I love you more than words can say.

What I like about being pregnant

We can establish that I’m not one of those people who’s just super comfortable being pregnant. I’m not comfortable with getting bigger, caring around a bowling ball on my stomach, have all clothes fit badly (maternity clothes suck), having constant back pain or just feeling tired and clumsy all the time. I do really get amazed when I think about what my body is actually doing, and I do feel incredibly grateful that I get to experience it, that I didn’t have any problems getting pregnant and that my pregnancy is going great. I have also been one of the lucky ones how haven’t vomited and stuff. But I hate hate hate feeling clumsy and big and realizing there are things I can not do for myself as I get bigger (punching my independence in the gut). Anyway, I do feel like I need to also be a little positive, so here is a list of things that I actually do like about being pregnant.

  • The excitement – It’s like nothing I have ever felt before in my entire life. While it is thrown in there among 500 other feelings floating around constantly the excitement is completely new and phenomenal. I have already told my fiancé that even if I might hate this, I am doing it again, because nothing (this far in life) can compare to the excitement of expecting. It’s nerv wracking and completely terrifying but it’s amazing. That feeling when seeing the result on the pregnancy test, or the weeks waiting for the ultrasound that will tell you if it’s a boy or a girl.
  • Feeling her move – Is up there among the weirdest feelings I have ever experienced and all of a sudden it’s just a completely normal part of your day. It’s not even possible to try to explain the feeling. It’s really alien to have a living being rolling around inside your stomach, but it’s amazing. I get all filled up with love every time.
  • Planning and picturing – This is one of absolute favorite things about being pregnant. Me and Odi spend hours talking about her. What it’s gonna be like, what she’s gonna look like, what she’s gonna be like, what we’re gonna be like as parents. It always gives me the biggest smile on my face. It’s probably not gonna be anything like we picture or think, but it’s still so exciting to think about.
  • Togetherness – We were super close before I got pregnant too, but since then and going through this together has brought us so much closer together. It’s really special. I mean, we were engaged before, and I know people who have kids split up too, but somehow it’s like we’re bound together forever, in a completely different way.
  • Being taken care of, BY SOME – Now I think it’s clear that I am not a fan of people treating me like a kid, or like I’m sick, or like I can’t do stuff. I think my first ever sentence was, I can do it by myself, and I do not like having to admit defeat. But it is nice having my closest people giving me the special treatment, like offering a massage, or caring my bag.

So there are a few things that I like about being pregnant, and a lot of it is emotional and is one way or another connected to the excitement of what’s to come. I am so grateful for this journey that we’re on and this huge life-changing roller coaster we’re about to go on. And I thought it would be about time to high light some of the positives in the middle of the back pain and clumsiness.

What are you favorite things about being pregnant?
And your least favorite things?

Pre-baby vacation

So we went our so called baby moon. And it was phenomenal. We decided pretty early that we wanted to go on some sort of vacation around may, since we would usually go during the summer and that was no longer an option. We decided that what we wanted was a calm place, with a pool, in the sun, and just be together in a relaxing environment. I also decided that I did not want to fly anywhere but go by car, just in case I wasn’t feeling well. We found the most amazing bed and breakfast in Altea, about 4,5 hours by car from Barcelona. Altea Paradise, what an amazing place. It was such a beautiful place and exactly what we needed.

We spent 10 days in this paradise, we had great breakfast, a super cute cabana with out own little garden and the most amazing garden with a beautiful pool area. The whole place just scream relaxing. We hung out by the pool, tanned a lot, ate a lot and also went around a little to visit some different beaches and places.

Villajoyosa

We did end up in a few places that was not the most amazing idea while in this condition. Like a waterfall with powerful water climbing around slippery rocks, or a private little stony beach with no wind, way to warm with this already higher temperature and also, not too easy to walk, if nothing else than for the reason that my ankles swelled up tripple the size, I’m not even kidding it looked like I strained both of them. I did, in the vacation mood, really miss a glas of wine or a tasty gin and tonic. But I was fine. Old Town in Altea was beautiful and we had some amazing food.

Some things we did not think about:
The bed… I loved the place, it was literally dreamy. But the bed was a nightmare. It killed me, I could barely get up in the mornings without screaming.
The access to a kitchen… apparently we could not use the kitchen, which would have been nice for a few days, a long weekend maybe, but 10 days of eating in restaurants for lunch and dinner got really boring.

So needless to say, coming home and make a home cooked meal and then go to sleep in our bed was to die for.

We really did need this time together though, in everything that is going on and that needs to be fixed, prepared and planned for what’s to come, it was well needed to spend sometime together just us, no distractions, basically being forced to relax and just being together, appreciating the time together, appreciating each other and talking about everything. It was an amazing vacation!

Thoughts on what it takes to be a great parent

I’m so excited to become a mother. Also scared shitless of course, but excited. I really think that I could be really good at it. I know they say that women have this maternal instinct. I think some people have it, but I don’t know if I believe that everyone does. My mum did though, she was just the most natural mother and I hope it’s genetic. These are some of the things I believe that a person should have or do to be a good parent. Just keep in mind that I don’t really know what I’m talking about:

  • Confidence – I think that you need to believe in yourself and have confidence in yourself when it comes to this. As in most things in life, if you doubt yourself the chances are bigger that it will go wrong.
  • Love – let’s me honest, we need to keep a human alive, and that’s really scary. Not only that but we are also hoping that the human will turn into a good person. But at the end of the day, we all get fucked up one way or another, and life happens, we need to be loved, we all need to be loved.
  • Support – we have our heads filled up with what we should and shouldn’t do, what everyone else thinks about what we do, and how we should be living our life. Be the support, be the person that the kid can go to, even with the weirdest ideas in the world. And support, help and support. But promote to get creative and make things happen for yourself.
  • Be selfish sometimes – I believe that to take care of someone else you need to take care of yourself first. I feel like in society you need to be stressed, busy and completely occupied by your kids to be a good mum, to be only a mum. But we are still the same people. And we have become these people through life. I want to be an inspirational parent, and to do that I need to be me, to be the best version of myself, I need to take care of myself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

I also think it’s important to lead by example, like in all other situations in life. People and kids especially do as you do, not as you tell them to. But I might also have a very naive view of things, not being a parent yet myself. At the end of the day I think we all walk around with way to high expectations. Living in a society where everything is looking very perfect around us, no wonder we do. We can all afford to be a bit more kind and understanding sometimes, we’re all just doing the best we can! So let’s finish of with my biggest point, that I’m probably going to have to remind myself of about 10 times a day when I’m there myself

  • GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK, YOU’RE DOING GREAT