I promise to not take my body for granted again

This is my promise to myself. And I’m writing it down, both in my journal and here, for anyone to read (and remind me of) so that I don’t forget that I made this promise.

First of all I will never take my body for granted because of what it is capable of. Of what it can fucking do, which is completely inhuman. Because my body created a life, a human being.

Second of all, because I realize now how much time I have spent taken my body for granted. Blaming it, mistreating it, hating it. Not any more. I will not allow it. I have always been lucky and some what healthy and “normal” weight no matter what I put my body through (I mean come on, at some point I should definitely have been over weight with how I treated my body) and it has kept strong through laziness.

I realize now, how much I have taken all these things for granted. The easy movement and flexibility, the flat stomach, the non swollen feet and legs. I also realize how awful I have been to it, both physically and mentally.

So from now on I will be grateful and treat my body with the respect it deserves. I will take care of it and I will cherish it. Not only am I grateful that I could get pregnant, and have a completely non problematic pregnancy, it’s is also going to give birth, and heal afterwards (I hope… haha)

I have noticed a significant difference in the diagnoses that I have, psoriasis, arthritis, migraines and IBS since taking better care of myself mentally. Just imagine how amazing I would feel if I also took better care of myself physically. And this pregnancy has given me that motivation, to not take my body for granted, to open my eyes to how truly amazing it actually is and to stop hating it, and being mean to it.

It’s time to let go of all the old grudges and love my body like it deserve to be loved and treat it like it deserves to be treated. I promise, not to take my body for granted again.

The story behind the instagram post

We all know how we post our perfect life on social media and that it’s not always the whole truth. Sometimes it’s not just to portrait a perfect life, well I can only speak for myself, but sometimes it’s about keeping a positive attitude, and also about maybe not wanting to share all the bad things, cause that can be hard to even share with your closest people, let alone the world.

I feel like I’m very aware, and I try to keep it positive but honest on my social media, and I don’t show all of my mental breakdowns, but I try to be honest about my ups and downs. So here goes, the truth behind my latest instagram picture is that I had just actually cried my eyes out before it was taken. When I finally got a picture I was happy with I just wanted to move on and go back to being happy and positive, so my post was not at all about pretending but moving forward. But that is the truth. Like I have talked about in a previous post that you can read here pregnancy doesn’t always come without body issues. So here’s the story

I wanted a pretty pregnancy photo in this amazing and beautiful place. And so the first day in the sun I asked Odi to take some. And when he came back from running around taking photos from different angles (I know he’s so great), I hated them, I looked like a whale, a huge, overweight (not only the stomach of course, cause obviously it’s big) whale. He tried to tell me that that wasn’t at all what he saw, but somehow that just made it worse, and I just broke down and cried. I really thought that I would love and admire my body while pregnant, and I do, but it’s hard, I’m wider and bigger and different everywhere, not only around the stomach, and all you see all around are these model looking women with only a stomach growing. And somehow, even if you deep down know that’s not how you look, you kind of hope that the picture will turn out like one of those perfect pregnancy photos.

Thankfully I have the most amazing fiance, who listened and comforted me and then told me that he was gonna take more pictures, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. So he told me where to go, where to sit, how to sit and where to look and he ran around this whole place taking more pictures from different angles, trying to make me look and feel pretty. And eventually I ended up not hating some of the pictures he took.

It’s not easy gaining weight in this society, I just never thought these ghosts would follow me into pregnancy. But there’s the ugly truth, even in pregnancy some of us have to work through body issues, and if we’re lucky, we have amazing people around to help us do that and tools to help ourselves too. I’m working on loving my body for this amazing thing it’s doing, and a lot of days I do, some days are better than other, both with how you look at yourself and how you feel.

We should all be better at celebrating and loving ourselves. Especially while creating a fking human.

Did you ever feel like that while pregnant?
What are your best tips on handling these feelings?

Pregnancy and body issues and tips on how to work through them

So, I have always been that lucky person that would keep about the same weight no matter what I did, and still not really love body. I have put in a lot of work to being okay and comfortable with myself. Like I think most women, and probably a lot of men too, have had to do. I spent a lot of years with just a few self hating thoughts while in a bikini, but mostly I was completely fine which I am very grateful for now.

Cute vacay pic of me and my best friend Anna from 2016

About a year ago my body had a bit of a shock when changing some medication, but also because of some other changes in my life. I started working and studying from home and moved from an apartment on the 6th floor without elevator, to an apartment on the ground floor. I gained about 10 kg in a month, which was really hard to cope with. All of a sudden none of my clothes fit me properly, and even those that did, looked completely different and I was so uncomfortable in my own body.

So when I later found out that I was pregnant, of course I realized that my body would change. I also thought that I would kind of start admiring my body for what it was capable of and what was happening inside. But that was actually some what of a struggle. So I started to swell up pretty fast, I’m not gonna call it started showing, I swelled up. For months I was just looking a little fat, and I was already feeling fat, and it was actually really, really hard. So all the while being pregnant and dealing with all the feelings around that, I also needed to get back to doing the work I’d already done at 16 years of age and on, with my body image and self confidence.

All of the amazing photos of me and my fiancé were taken by
https://delphinegidoinphotography.com/

I do, however, feel a lot better now. And I would say that the reasons for this is:

  1. Having an amazing partner who always makes me feel good about myself.
  2. Always working on my mind and mindset through for example affirmations, gratitude journal and mediation.
  3. Starting to look at my body differently, admiring it for what it’s doing and will do, all the while it has become more real to me, which makes this one easier.
  4. Doing yoga at home (or a class of course), if only 5 minutes in the morning to start the day off in a good way.
  5. Going to the gym 2-3 times a week, where it’s important to do something you actually enjoy, for me that’s swimming, or just get out for some long walks and hikes.
  6. Eat better, I’m not saying eat super healthy all the time, but eat tasty food that is good for you, with the occasional treats of course.
  7. Lastly I went out and got some clothes that made me feel super good and comfortable (maternity clothes tho… let’s talk about that another day) .

So my biggest tip to other women feeling this way, pregnant or not, is to just take good care of yourself, cause I believe that if you feel healthy and strong you will also feel sexier and more confident.

What was your experience with your body changing, because of pregnancy or not?
What are your best tips to work on your body image?
What’s your tips on wellness when pregnant?