I do not wanna be pregnant anymore

It’s no fun being pregnant. I’ve had a pretty easy pregnancy, I’ll admit. And it hasn’t been all that bad for the most part. But now it honestly just sucks. I was so sure I’d be early that I felt like I was late already before my due date and now I’m past due, feeling like I’ve been pregnant for years.

And it’s not like you’re feeling super up for doing the things that is said to induce naturally. Exercise with feet double their normal size that feel like they’re about to explode as soon as you stand up? Take the stairs? Eat spicy food when you’re throat already is on fire most of the time doesn’t feel like an amazing choice either.

But, I am going for a morning walk every day. And went for an even longer walk yesterday, which turned me into a pile of sweat. And also using on a birthing ball, and taking the stairs. I’m trying. And I’m dying.

So the latest due date that was said was the 17th, the one before that was the 19th, and the first due date we got when I first got pregnant was… TODAY! So let’s all hope that today is the day. Cause I do not wanna be pregnant anymore. And I wanna have this whole child birth thing over with.

Cuqui is waiting too!

I promise to not take my body for granted again

This is my promise to myself. And I’m writing it down, both in my journal and here, for anyone to read (and remind me of) so that I don’t forget that I made this promise.

First of all I will never take my body for granted because of what it is capable of. Of what it can fucking do, which is completely inhuman. Because my body created a life, a human being.

Second of all, because I realize now how much time I have spent taken my body for granted. Blaming it, mistreating it, hating it. Not any more. I will not allow it. I have always been lucky and some what healthy and “normal” weight no matter what I put my body through (I mean come on, at some point I should definitely have been over weight with how I treated my body) and it has kept strong through laziness.

I realize now, how much I have taken all these things for granted. The easy movement and flexibility, the flat stomach, the non swollen feet and legs. I also realize how awful I have been to it, both physically and mentally.

So from now on I will be grateful and treat my body with the respect it deserves. I will take care of it and I will cherish it. Not only am I grateful that I could get pregnant, and have a completely non problematic pregnancy, it’s is also going to give birth, and heal afterwards (I hope… haha)

I have noticed a significant difference in the diagnoses that I have, psoriasis, arthritis, migraines and IBS since taking better care of myself mentally. Just imagine how amazing I would feel if I also took better care of myself physically. And this pregnancy has given me that motivation, to not take my body for granted, to open my eyes to how truly amazing it actually is and to stop hating it, and being mean to it.

It’s time to let go of all the old grudges and love my body like it deserve to be loved and treat it like it deserves to be treated. I promise, not to take my body for granted again.

She’s supposed to come today!

We’ve gotten a few different due dates during this pregnancy. First it was the 21st, then the 19th, and the latest one… today!! And of course, this is just as much a guess as anything else, but it still feels totally crazy. I was of course sure she’d be early, so for me it feels like I’m already late. And I am so ready for this pregnancy to be over.

We’re going to the hospital to day, to do a 20-30 min monitoring of the baby and a visit with the midwife. Apparently they have a tendency to advise induction when they think the baby is big, and since they’re saying this baby is huge, that might the case. If there’s no other medical reason to induce I do believe it’s better to wait and see if she’ll want to come on her own.

It feels completely crazy still that I’m gonna be a mother. And it’s hard to understand what everyone says, that it all comes so naturally. I do have a lot of trust and believe in myself and in Odi as well, so I do believe that we’re gonna do great. I guess it’s just like with other things in life, you have this image of what it’s gonna feel like when you’re there and then it turns out you’re completely wrong. Kind of like when you were young and thought that those who graduated high school was all grown up, ha ha ha. I kind of feel like that, like shouldn’t I feel more like an adult by now? I mean I’m having a baby like TODAY, and I still feel like I just graduated high school.

I still have such a hard time connecting to that it’s an actual person in there. An actual person who’s gonna be here soon. A person that’s gonna be a mix of me and Odi, that we’ve created, that we’re responsible for. I guess it all falls into place when we see her, when she’s here. But for me, it’s still super alien.

How did you feel at the end of your pregnancy?
Did you feel ready?
Did it all really come all the naturally?

In my bubble

I am giving myself permission to stay in my bubble. Maybe this happens when you come to the end of the pregnancy, anyone else experienced it? Or maybe it’s partly because of the heat, and partly because of the direction my life has taken recently.

I am in transition, I can feel the energy and my path changing and I need to just feel and follow. I am in complete reflection and creativity mode and I need to allow myself to be here. So often I just rush off to the next thing and never slow down enough to see where I am actually heading and why. So recently I got a wake up call and realized that something needed to change.

The timing couldn’t be better, with it being the end of the pregnancy and me needing to rest and take care of myself anyway. So I am in complete self care and development mode. It’s still a bit hard though, to completely allow yourself to be in that state. I feel that there is so much pressure to be and do it all that if I stay in the house (Yas AC, thanks) I feel like I should be out and about and make the most of every day. But for now, this is making the most of my day and my time.

I can’t say that it’s completely stress free. I do have child birth on my agenda and it scares the living crap out of me. So I am waking up 50 times a night having had a dream that I was in labor and not knowing what is true and what isn’t.

Give yourself permission to sign out and step into yourself. When it just involves watching netflix and laying on the couch it might not be the best thing, but when it involves digging deep, reflecting and taking care of yourself and your mind, then sometimes it’s exactly what you need to move forward in the right direction!

Self Care with a baby

It’s so important to put yourself first. You can’t pour from an empty cup. So I have been thinking about that lately. How to keep up with my self care with a baby. It must be tough, but it must be possible.

It’s so important for my well being, my habits, to keep my routine. It’s important for my mental health and for my happiness. I’m guessing that I will fall out of it with a newborn but then I’m gonna have to find a way back, even if it might have to be a bit differently.

What are you opinions? Did you have a self care routine before having kids? How did kids effect that? How do you keep up with your self care as a mama? Let me know all your tips and all your challenges!

I am ready

I am ready. This in between is not working for me. I am too impatient. I have been pregnant enough now, it’s not just that I am sick of being pregnant, I’m just done, I’m ready for the next step. In my mind I am already planning for life with baby, I am making schedule, loosing baby weight, looking for a new place and so on. All those things that I can’t do right now, because I’m just waiting. I’m just sitting here, waiting.

I try to come up with all kinds of stuff to do, bake (I do not bake…), clean out my closet (still need the mama clothes). This is ridiculous. I do not like waiting. Especially for something that is probably not gonna be very fun. So I want to have it behind me, not ahead. I want to be done with it now.

I miss my stomach, I miss my clothes, I miss my non swollen feet and legs. I am ready, let’s get this show on the road baby.

So here’s what I’m doing. Me, who is so into mindset work and all that stuff, I am simply working on my child birth mindset. And it feels like it’s working. I just hit me, that I have so many techniques that I need to calm my mind. Breathing, and yes that does actually take practice. I am focusing all my energy on affirming thoughts instead of thinking about when and how it’s going to happen.

  • I am ready for this
  • Everything will be okay
  • My body is ready and made for this

And like all other affirming thoughts, you need to believe them at some level, and I do.

https://delphinegidoinphotography.com/

I’m having a baby this month

That is probably one of the craziest sentences I have ever written in any context of my life. I am having a baby this month. Well to be honest it could actually end up being in august. But let’s just pretend that’s not true, cause we do not want that. For everyone around me, let’s not go over time. Don’t make me be pregnant longer than necessary.

It’s completely insane. Any time now we can have a whole new person in our lives, that we’re supposed to take care of and raise. Anyone else finding this concept completely weird? And don’t even get me started on the whole growing the person inside you and giving birth to it concept.

Every night I go to bed I’m like, what if we have a baby tomorrow. And no, I realize the baby won’t just pop up during the night, (but wouldn’t that be nice, really finding this stork idea super appealing right now).

Jokes aside, I am so excited now. I really trust that we will be great at this. At being lost together haha, and figuring it out. I believe that we will be great parents, and that we will create the most amazing life for this little girl. And I am so excited to meet her, see her, find out what her name is… I am so excited. And scared. And nervous. And I can’t wait. Let’s get this show on the road!

https://delphinegidoinphotography.com/

How did you feel when you started getting really close?
What scared you the most?
Made you the most excited?