A tough week without sleep

We’ve been home from the hospital a while now and she’s gotten way better. She’s back to her social, smiling self (not that she ever stopped smiling at EVERYONE even though she was sick). We’ve been struggling a bit with the sleep though, the antibiotics seem to upset her stomach some and she has a hard time sleeping properly. And as the spoiled mama I am, I am going crazy. Used to being able to sleep pretty good and now having to walk around for 2 hours trying to get her to sleep in the middle of the night. How do people do it? It’s not even the not sleeping that’s the worst, it’s that she does fall asleep but as soon as you put her down she wakes up again and it goes on and on.

I’m hoping it will get better as soon as we stop the medication, which is in only a few days. This having a baby thing really is a good way to work on your patience. And I sure as hell didn’t have a good one to begin with. I get so frustrated. And thinking of last night really makes me laugh at myself. I’ve had few of those.

One time I was up trying to get her to sleep over and over and she just wouldn’t. Eventually I was walking around the room, Odi sleeping in the bed (of course, since he’s getting up to go to work) and I got soooooo angry. I mean angry to a point of exploding. I was so angry at him for sleeping I could barely contain myself. I was literally boiling. And he just kept sleeping while I was muttering to myself about how lucky he was. Good thing he didn’t wake up cause I probably would have started a fight.

Then we have last night. I had been up 7 times, I had been trying to get her to go back to sleep for more than an hour. Then she needed a change. My patience long gone and I was so tired. I put her on the changing table, open the diaper, and she poops, I mean like a fucking cannon. On the wall, on the floor, on me. And I just started crying. I had to turn on the light and poor Odi wakes up to this disaster wondering what the fuck is happening and I’m just crying, half laughing.

Get kids they said, it’ll be fun they said. Wow. I can’t wait for the weekend when someone at least can take her in the morning so I can sleep in properly. And I can’t wait for her to be off the antibiotics (really hoping that’s the problem here). Right now I can’t decide if I’m gonna go for a walk or for a nap and my brain is somewhat dysfunctional (I accidentally wrote my diaper instead of my patience earlier).

I’ll keep you updated!

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