Me and my fiancé are a great team, we really are. But this whole pregnancy thing is a challenging. In so many ways we are closer and better than ever, but in other ways we are struggling.
First of all, being the person who is carrying the baby, you take up a lot of the attention, and rightfully so, I mean you are growing a person inside your body, and it’s heavy work I might add. As if the actual heavy wasn’t enough you are also filled up with all these crazy emotions, and at least for me, my feelings are on crack (or what ever drug would make them go loco). And I also expect all the understanding in the world, again, rightfully so, but still. Sometimes I don’t really acknowledge that he is going through this too. The transition to becoming a parent, all the crazy feelings of weather or not you’re even gonna be good at it. The fear and being nervous about everything going well with the pregnancy and the birth to come. How he’s gonna handle all of it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not apologizing for expecting a little special treatment while slowing and surely turning into an whale looking emotion-explosion with back pain (pregnancy is beautiful yada yada). I do expect for him to understand when I have a full on explosion because he got the wrong kind of ice cream (that never actually happened, yet). But the dads out there are also going through a whole lot. And since (I assume) they are doing all of those things that you need them to, understand and help and support and shut up when they can tell you’re about to explode, they also do deserve an extra hug, at least once in a while. At least when it comes to me, it’s not always easy.
But most importantly, ask him! And let him vent too. I don’t know about you guys but I happened to have found a very good listener and supporter who is always asking me how I’m feeling, so I try to be that and do that for him too. While I do get caught up in my own feelings, I try to remind myself of these things, and sit down and have a talk about what is happening in his head and what kind of feelings and worries he’s having. In any case, it’s better to go through it together.